Comedy, Food, Sports LIVE! will feature James Hesky (as seen with John Oliver and Judah Friedlander) and Jason Ashworth (97.5 The Fanatic) on Friday, March 30th at 8PM at The Twisted Tail!!

Posted: 23rd March 2012 by admin in Comedy, Food, Sports, Uncategorized
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Helium Comedy Club regulard and Cheapodcast host, comedian James Hesky.

97.5 The Fanatic’s own Jason Ashworth

We’ll do it LIVE…again!  A huge month for Comedy, Food, Sports LIVE! featuring comedian James Hesky and 97.5 The Fanatic’s own Jason Ashworth.  This show will feature our new “sponsors”, Paula Deen dropping an n-bomb, and along with our usual “sports roundtable!”  The show will take place Friday (March 30th) night at 8pm at the Twisted Tail (2nd and South Street in Philly) and most importantly…IT IS FREE!!!!

James Hesky is a Philly based comedian that has recently worked with Judah Friendlander and John Oliver, he’s a regular at The Helium Comedy Club and he hosts the hugely successful “Cheapodcast”.  To contact James, find him on Twitter @jameshesky and download his podcast at http://cheapodcast.podbean.com/

 97.5 The Fanatic’s own Jason Ashworth will be the sports expert of the month.  Jason won 97.5 The Fanatic’s “Dream Job” and is now a regular on biggest sports station in the tri-state area.   Jason is also the current emcee for the Philadelphia Soul and the former emcee for the Wilkes-Barre Pioneers.  He has worked for ABC, Comcast and Fox doing everything from hosting to producing sports related content.

Podcaster Dutch and crew will serve as the show’s production team along with DJ Mike.  Dutch hosts the wildly successful and entertaining NQAPodcast which can be found on iTunes.  Dutch and the rest of the production team are veritable fountains of Philly sports knowledge and history.

Creator of Comedy, Food, Sports Patrick Dodd will serve as the host for the night.  He has performed all across the east coast working with some of the best in the business (including Jim Florentine, Margaret Cho, Doug Benson, Colin Kane and more).  He placed second in the Miami Improv Comedy Contest a few years back and soon after he became a regular feature and MC at the beloved Laughing Skull Lounge in Atlanta, GA. His style has been described as dry, edgy and borderline offensive.  It’s all done with a smile on his face and a sarcastic tone that billows into the audience.  He covers real life topics such as marriage and fatherhood and he never shies away from touchy subjects like pedophilia and race.

For more info on the show please email Patrick at dodd.patrick@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @patrick_dodd


Next Show is Featuring Comedian Joel Richardson, Phil from Mt. Airy and Sports Guru Brandon Pemberton plus a First Show Wrap up!

Posted: 17th February 2012 by admin in Comedy, Food, Sports, Uncategorized
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January 28th at The Twisted Tail, the first ever Comedy, Food, Sports LIVE! took place.  The show was a huge success!  Comedian Jim Grammond and 97.5 The Fanatic’s Jason Ashworth did a phenominal job of breaking down the year in the review and the stupid shit that athletes tweet!  Hundreds of people showed up, the graphics were outstanding and the overall production was top notch.  We even had a special appearance from Fake Andy Reid.

Our next show is Saturday, February 25th at 8pm at The Twisted Tail.  The show will feature comedian Joel Richardson, Phil from Mt. Airy (from 97.5 The Fanatic) and sports guru Brandon Pemberton.  For more information on Joel go to http://www.souljoelproductions.com/ and http://brandononsports.com/

Click on the images below to see pictures from the show!

Comedy, Food, Sports Live! January 28th at The Twisted Tail in Philly!

Posted: 16th January 2012 by admin in Comedy, Food, Sports, Uncategorized
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Comedy, Food, Sports Live is coming to Philly! Saturday, January 28th at 7:30pm at The Twisted Tail

Guest comedy set from Rob Desantis

 WE’LL DO IT LIVE!!!!  After several months of debate and preparation, Comedy, Food, Sports LIVE! is finally happening.  January 28th at 7:30PM (actualy showtime will be closer to 8pm), Comedy, Food, Sports LIVE! will take place at The Twisted Tail in the Headhouse Square area of Philly (South and 2nd).  The actual show will be performed upstairs at The Juke Joint where national touring and local blues bands play regularly.  THERE WILL BE NO CHARGE FOR OUR FIRST LIVE SHOW!
 
The concept of the show is heavily influenced by the late night talk show format.  There will be a monologue, some sketches, interviews, a food demo, a round table discussion of sorts and few more surprises!

The lineup is stacked with local talent including comedians Jim Grammond and Rob Desantis along with Jason Ashworth from 97.5 The Fanatic!  The show will be hosted by Comedy, Food, Sports creator/author Patrick Dodd with DJ Mike on the soundboards.

The hilarious and always opinionated Jim Grammond is the comedian guest of the month.  Jim is a writer and comedian living in Philadelphia. He is the host of the monthly show Reasonable Discourse with Jerks at the Philly Improv Theater.

97.5 The Fanatic’s own Jason Ashworth will be the sports expert of the month.  Jason won 97.5 The Fanatic’s “Dream Job” and is now a regular on biggest sports station in the tri-state area.   Jason is also the current emcee for the Philadelphia Soul and the former emcee for the Wilkes-Barre Pioneers.  He has worked for ABC, Comcast and Fox doing everything from hosting to producing sports related content.

Rob Desantis will serve as the warm up act and one of the show’s writers.  Rob won the 2010 Philadelphia Comedy Academy Comedy Contest, which allowed him the opportunity to open for a national headliner at the prestigious Helium Comedy Club.  Rob has since been an active member of the Philadelphia comedy community, and has worked in many clubs up and down the east coast.

Podcaster Dutch and crew will serve as the show’s production team along with DJ Mike.  Dutch hosts the wildly successful and entertaining NQAPodcast which can be found on iTunes.  Dutch and the rest of the production team are veritable fountains of Philly sports knowledge and history.

Creator of Comedy, Food, Sports Patrick Dodd will serve as the host for the night.  He has performed all across the east coast working with some of the best in the business (including Jim Florentine, Margaret Cho, Doug Benson, Colin Kane and more).  He placed second in the Miami Improv Comedy Contest a few years back and soon after he became a regular feature and MC at the beloved Laughing Skull Lounge in Atlanta, GA. His style has been described as dry, edgy and borderline offensive.  It’s all done with a smile on his face and a sarcastic tone that billows into the audience.  He covers real life topics such as marriage and fatherhood and he never shies away from touchy subjects like pedophilia and race.

For more info on the show please email Patrick at dodd.patrick@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @patrick_dodd

 

January 28th at 8pm at the Twisted Tail (2nd and South). Upstairs at the Juke Joint. FREE SHOW!!!!

 

Dilated Person: Comedian Rory Scovel

Posted: 9th December 2011 by admin in Comedy, Food, Sports
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Rory Scovel: Probably the funniest young comic working right now

 I was featuring for a show in Atlanta at a small alternative venue and a good looking bearded guy came over to me and asked “what’s this crowd like?  Are they offended easily?”  I responded simply “we’ll find out in a bit, because I’m going to use the word cunt about five times in my opening seven minutes.”  That same bearded guy took the stage after me and almost tricked the crowd into dropping an n-bomb during his opener and then killed it for forty-five minutes.  That comedian turned out to be Rory Scovel and since then he’s become a stand up monster. 

Over the past few years, Rory has been turning heads at festivals across North America and making himself a legitimate national headliner.  He’s been seen on Live at Gotham, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and he famously performed at the same time (literally) with Jon Dore on Conan.

Scovel released his debut album “Dilation” in early October and it immediately skyrocketed up the iTune’s comedy charts to the #3 spot.  I spoke with the critically acclaimed comedian about dreams of tailgating without a game to go to, vegany goodness, and comedy in the dark with a German accent.

Me:  What sports are you into?
Rory:  Well, I don’t really follow any sports.  The only time I really get into sports really is when baseball is getting into their playoffs.  Such a cliché answer I know.  I like watching football a lot, but I don’t follow any particular college or pro team though.  I just really like the whole aspect of everyone hanging out together and watching a game and drinking and barbecuing.  I love tailgating.  I almost wish tailgating was its own thing.  Like you didn’t have to have a game.  You could just fill parking lots with people drinking and cooking out without any game involved.
I played soccer a lot though, growing up and in college.  That’s probably my favorite sport, even though I don’t really follow it.  I prefer to just play sports in general, rather than watch them.  Especially ones that I used to play like soccer, tennis, and basketball.  I’m not really able to watch them, because I want to just play instead.
Me:  I hear you.  That’s the way I am with hoops…at least at the NBA level.
Rory:  Yea, I would go to any soccer match and be fine, but I will always have that itch to play, even though those times have greatly past me by.  You know, in your head, you always think you can still play at that level.
Me:  Where did you play at?
Rory:  I played at the University of South Carolina Spartanburg which is actually called Upstate now.  It’s a Division II school.  It was a lot of fun.  It was a small school, so we always kind of had to make our own entertainment.  I think because of that we became a much tighter team.
Did you play college ball?
Me:  I played about week of JuCo ball, but I quickly realized I was way more into drugs and other extracurricular activities. 
So, what about food?  Obviously you’re into tailgating.
Rory:  I just pull into people’s driveways and barbecue without their permission.  Seriously though, with food, I’m all over the place.  I love going out to eat.   Especially in New York, where you can walk around and go to so many great places.  LA is similar, but you have to drive everywhere so you have to be a bit more focused on where you’re going.  I go through cravings of always wanting Italian or Chinese food quite often.
I never got into cooking really.  College was just all pretty much shit food, which was kind of do-able since I was on the soccer team.  All the crap I was putting into my body I could just burn it off out on the field, so I never really developed any good eating habits.  All my favorite foods are probably the worst thing for you.
I just recently started eating vegan.  I’m not a vegan or anything, but I started to go to this restaurant in LA called “Flore”.  It’s actually pretty incredible how great you actually feel after the meal.  It’s usually like halfway through the meal; my body just lights up and is ready to go.  My body is finally getting all the nutrients that it needs.  It’s pretty incredible how much that affects your body.  You’re body is actually getting all this brain food.
Me:  We started doing a farmshare thing here in Philly and we tried to do some vegan dinners here and there during the week.  Some of that stuff can be really tasty if you do it right.
Rory:  I’ll always crave sausage or a burger or a steak, but it is pretty amazing how good you feel when you get away from that stuff and just let your body relax and not have to work so hard on stuff that is tough to break down.  Your body really does say “thank you!”  Even with that, I’m still not doing the things I should do.  I could probably eat a Philly cheese steak at the drop of a hat.  It’s so difficult to give those things up, even though you know you’re just going to fart all day long.  It’s just like “I don’t even care.  Put it in me!”
Me:  Yea, even though you’ll hate yourself for it.
Rory:  Exactly.  I know I’m going to want to kill myself, but I need this to be a part of my life.
Me:  I need that two seconds of gratification even with all of the self hatred that comes with it.
Rory:  Yep!
Me:  Let’s move over to comedy.  Tell me about the album.  Last time I checked, it hit #3 on the iTunes comedy chart.
Rory:  I kind of got obsessed with the whole comedy chart thing when it first came out.  I don’t really know how those things work, but the guy who did the album at StandUp Records told me “yea, it’s at number 8.”  And I asked if that was a good thing and he told me “yea, but you should hype it up more and ask people to Tweet about it and we can get it up higher.”  So that day, I was asking everyone to tweet about it and spread the word and it got up to number 3!  Now it’s dropped off the charts, but getting to number 3 was not something I expected at all.  The support was really overwhelming.
Me:  I definitely got a lot of Tweets that day, which was really cool to see.
Rory:  I just told everyone “either tell 100 people or buy 100 copies.” 
Me:  And remind the good people out there what the name of the album is.
Rory:  It’s called “Dilation”   It was kind of trippy experience.  I never recorded anything before really, but I really had a lot of fun doing it.  It was cool determining what the artwork would be like and my buddy Scott put the whole thing together. 
It’s kind of weird thing, doing a set that is going to be permanently recorded.  It’s just this permanent show you’re capturing to represent you.  You’ve done thousands of shows before, but this is the one that will represent those thousands of shows.  It’s kind of a weird thing, because it’s not necessarily the best of all of the shows I’ve ever done.  It’s a little odd that you’re just saying “alright, that’s the best of those two shows and that’s what the CD is.”  Putting it out there and hoping the people like it is kind of a weird feeling.
Me:  I’ve heard from a few comics that it can be weird.  You can really do any crowd work or deal with hecklers or anything like that.
Rory:  Yea and you have to question your material a bit.  You have to think about what’s more physical than verbal.  You have to start thinking really hard about what needs to be seen to be funny and you really start to call things into question.
Me:  Tell me about this show you did in the dark.
Rory:  My buddy Greg Barris does a show called “The Heart of Darkness” in New York City.  He kind of tours it around whenever he travels and he invited me to do one in LA.  The whole theme of this show was based on sounds, so I had them turn the lights down so it was pitch black there.  There was a band onstage and they started playing this trippy space jam type thing.  It was really Pink Floyd esque and I just started telling jokes in a German accent.  It was a really cool stage and set up.  I wish that band could be there every time I do a show.  The way they rocked out was fucking awesome.
Me:  That’s really cool.  I’ve always thought it would be really cool to have a groove of some sort playing while you’re doing comedy.  I always thought more of just like a slap bassist and drummer in the background.
Rory:  It’s really cool how that can affect your rhythm and timing.  It doesn’t affect it negatively at all.  It almost sets a tone and pace for your routine. 
Me:  Like Nick Thune.  He paces his jokes with his guitar.
Rory:  Yea and even Galifianakis playing the piano…there is something about the timing of the jokes and how the music compliments the joke that is really just awesome.  There is something really cool about music accompanying comedy.
Me:  So was George Lopez your biggest appearance you’ve ever done?  Shit, it was Conan wasn’t it?
Rory:  Yea, I did Conan with Jon Dore.  I thought you were going to ask if George Lopez was my biggest inspiration! 
Me:  I want to be the voice of a Chihuahua cop or whatever he does.
Rory:  He really showed me what this world looks like. 
Yea, I would say Conan was biggest appearance and doing it with my buddy Jon Dore was really cool.  That was also pretty overwhelming.  I mean millions of people watch that show, but it doesn’t really occur to you till the next day and people are posting and re-posting everywhere about you.  At that point you realize you’ve done something sort of in the spotlight so to speak.  Negative comments are always painful and deflating, but even getting negative comments is kind of cool in a way.  You’re getting these people who have no idea who you are, posting things about you all over the world.
Me:  I read about it on laughspin.com, they were talking about the Conan appearance and the show in the dark and it seemed to really be creating a big buzz for you.
Rory:  It’s kind of crazy that people like that do a write about you or a show you were on.  Especially with the dark show, I didn’t even know they were there.  It’s so weird when you do some of these shows, because you never know whose watching.  You just hope that no one is watching during one of the shitty shows.
Me:  I’m going to speak for the entire city of Philadelphia and say “please do a show here!”
Rory:  I have nothing in the works right now, but I’ll keep you posted man.  Probably something after the first of the year though.
Me:  If you need any help with an alternative venue or anything of that sort, just let me know and I’ll make it happen.
Rory:  I appreciate it man!  I definitely want to come back up there soon.
Me:  It’s been a privilege man. We’re putting together a monthly live late night talk show style version of this blog and we’d love to have you on at some point.
Rory:  Keep me posted, because that sounds like a lot of fun.
Me:  My goal is to replace George Lopez’s empty slot after Conan.
Rory:  He is my comedy hero, but I guess that’s alright.

Check out these sites for more information on Rory:
www.roryscovel.com
www.facebook.com/roryscovel
www.twitter.com/roryscovel
Purchase his album off of iTunes here
Click here to see Rory’s hilarious performance with Jon Dore on Conan.

The King of Heckler Handling: Joe Matarese

Posted: 30th September 2011 by admin in Comedy, Food, Sports, Uncategorized
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One of kind to say the least: Joe Matarese

 

Joe Matarese has been slaying comedy stages around the country for about 20 years now with his “autobiographical” act that dives deeply into his twisted psyche.  In his weekly podcast, “Fixing Joe”, Joe opens up to listeners with his deep and very personal issues that are extremely therapeutic to both his audience and Matarese himself.

Joe has been an A-list headliner for a long time now, but he started to gain notoriety for his hilarious and brutal handling of hecklers.  Unlike most comedians, Joe almost embraces hecklers in a sense.  He is quick to fire back and make sure they understand how sad and pathetic they are, but there is a still this sense of enjoyment is Joe’s voice while he is breaking the hecklers down.  Joe actually recorded a “best of” album featuring his interaction with hecklers called “When Comedians Attack” with tracks ranging from one minute to nearly twelve minutes!

Joe’s current passion revolves around the concept of “Fixing Joe”.  He wants to utilize his obsession with psychological issues and use that into helping others by opening up about anything and everything.  Whether that turns into a TV show or a nationally syndicated radio show; the potential for that concept along with the hilariousness of Matarese is bound for great success.

When I spoke to Joe, he was getting ready to perform for a charity show in West Deptford, NJ on October 1st (www.spgfilms.com).  True to his style, proceeds from the show go to National Alliance on Mental Illness.  Check out what this truly one of a kind comedian had to say about the three greatest topics in the world.

Me:  What’s your sport of choice to watch?
Joe:  I’d say baseball would number one for me.  It’s funny, I just got home from seeing Moneyball and I knew it was going to be good, because I knew the whole concept of what it was about.  It turned out to be even better than I expected.  I’m staying with family over night while I’m in town and we’re a big baseball family.  My brother and I both grew playing baseball and he actually had a scholarship to play college ball.  Still to this day I give him shit, because he’s doing construction and I know he should be doing something connected with baseball.  That would be his dream job, so I try to inspire him once in a while. 
You’re looking for funny answer aren’t you?
Me: If the answer happened to be funny, then great.  I’m really just looking for honest answers about the three topics.  If I can avoid it, I don’t want people doing bits on here or anything like that.
Joe:  Cool, so what was the question again?
Me:  What sport are into most?
Joe:  Right!  I’m insane with baseball.  I actually befriended Mitch Williams (very popular Phillies closer from the 90’s aptly nicknamed “wild thing”).  He’s apparently a huge comedy fan and we met a few years ago.  I met him backstage for Daily News Live down in Philly.  I’m not sure if they still do it, but it is a sports show with Michael Barkann (very popular Philly sports personality).  He’s sitting there in shorts and t-shirt on the phone and I see him go “hold on a second!” and he looks at me and says “did you say your name was Joe Matarese?”  I’m like “yea” and he goes “get the fuck out of here!   I hear you all the time on Sirius/XM radio.  You’re roller skating bit made me cry!”  So I went right back at him to bust his balls and said “that’s funny in 1993 you made me cry.”  (In case you don’t know Mitch Williams gave up a walk off, World Series ending home run to Joe Carter of the Blue Jays).  He laughed pretty hard then we just started fucking with each other and busting balls.  I told him to come to my show that night and he said he would.  Mitch and his wife and Michael Barkann and his wife all came out to see my show in Philly at Helium.  We became friends after that.  I’m not sure how you can say this without him getting into trouble, but he snuck my brother into World Series in ’08.  Not just the World Series, but game 5 of the World Series which was the final game.  That was the rain game.  So we were at the game and we finally found a spot where we can stand and watch the game.  We didn’t have seats, he just kind of walked us in.  I swear it was like that scene in Almost Famous where that kid can’t believe he just got in through the backdoor at this concert as a teenager.  My brother and I are jumping up and down and screaming “we’re in the World Series!!!! We’re in the World Series!!!”  So it starts pouring and I don’t remember what inning that was, but maybe you can do some research and add that in (it was the top of the 6th inning and postseason games are subject to the commissioners office’s discretion as to whether they are called or  suspended and they decided to suspend that one).  So now my brother starts to get really negative and he starts to say “what the fuck?!  I can’t believe this shit!  They’re going to call this game!” and I’m like “what’s the problem?” and he goes “what’s the problem?!?!  We don’t have tickets!  He’s not going to sneak us in again!”  Then I think “oh shit he’s right!”  Then they make the announcement and say “save your tickets stubs, because this game is being suspended.”  We both are just like “fuck, I can’t believe this is happening!”  My brother is similar to me when he gets mad.  He gets really silly and funny when he gets made.  We see John Bolaris (popular local weather man and quasi Philly celebrity) in front of a camera with a raincoat on and my brother goes “way to go Bolaris!  You really blew this one!”  He yelled at the weatherman!  We leave the game and he’s super upset.  He goes “not only did the game get suspended and we’re not going to get into the stadium when they finish up the game, but that is the big turn of the series!  This is going to be just like the Fog Bowl!  The Phillies are gonna lose and then not win the series!”  So I’m like “oh god, relax dude.  Just relax.”  So we wake up the next morning and he’s like “you gotta call Mitch again!  You gotta see if he can get us in.”  So I call Mitch and say “I hate to do this, but can you sneak us in again?”  He luckily said “yes I can.”  We didn’t sit next to each other for some reason though.  Two of his friends had tickets and for some reason they had an open seat for my brother.  I had nowhere to sit though.  I went up into the way upper deck in left field.  I’ll never forget, I was sitting with these two lesbians and I didn’t know them or anyone in our section, but by the end of the game everyone knew everybody in our section.  It was like we were at war together or something.  When they won, I started sprinting through Citizen’s Bank Park  trying to find my brother.  I was thinking “I have to find my brother and hug him!”  So I finally find him and we hugged and went crazy.  Then he was like “dude, we gotta walk down Broad Street!”  I was like “what are you crazy?  I’m in my 40’s; I’m not walking down Broad Street!”  He’s like “dude, yes we are” and he grabs a newspaper that said “We win” on it and plastered it to his chest.  He was just walking around Broad Street high fiving people.  I never got to go the Phillies parade when they won in 1980, so that was a really cool experience.
Me:  I’m a big Red Sox fan, so I know the feeling of waiting forever for your team to win it.  This city really deserved it.  I was really happy for them. 
Joe:  That’s actually how that Moneyball movie ends.  (Spoiler alert!)  He interviews for the GM job with the Red Sox and he gets offered $15.5 million, because of what he did in Oakland.  He goes “we didn’t win the World Series though.”  The Red Sox owners say “yea, but your payroll was $36 million and almost everyone else was over $100 million and you made it the playoffs and you had the same record as the Yankees during the regular season.”  He ends up turning it down and the Red Sox just used his style of “GMing” with Theo Epstein and won two World Series. 
Me:  It was perfect, because Theo used the “Moneyball “mentality, but they also had the money to buy big time players too. 
So are you a big Eagles fan too?
Joe:  I am, but I don’t have as many good stories involving them.  I did go to the NFC Championship in 2005 when the Eagles played the Falcons.  I went with Bob Levy to that game.  He got us free tickets.  I think it might have been 10 degrees out that day.  Bob had no gloves and a leather jacket on.  Everyone else is wearing huge ski jackets and ski pants and Bob is just sitting there with no gloves and a leather jacket on.  I bought a bunch of those hand warmers and feet warmers that you slide into your boots and gloves.  They must have made a million dollars that day in hand and feet warmer sales alone.  So I’m watching the game with Levy and he’s one of those guys that’s constantly trying to predict what’s going to happen or what they should do next.  He’s like “alright this is what we gotta do!  If we get three first downs in a row…” He was so funny and annoying at the same time to watch an Eagles game with.  So they win and make it to the Super Bowl, but at the time I was doing comedy on a cruise.  That was the first one I ever did and I don’t do them anymore really.  They started the comedy show before the Super Bowl was over!  So I missed the last eight minutes of the Eagles in the Super Bowl, because I had to do comedy.  I missed the almost come back.
Me:  You missed Mcnabb throwing up too?
Joe:  Yea, I missed all that.  I was on stage pretending like I really cared about my comedy, but I was thinking about the game the whole time. 
Me:  Back to the Phillies real quick…do you think anyone can beat them this year?
Joe:  It’s kind of weird, because they had that little losing streak towards the end of the year but I think that means nothing.  Its funny my brother tries to write comedy sometimes.  He’s like “I wrote a bit!”  Which to me that means “oh, you’re giving me a bit.”  I was going to be on two radio stations the next morning and my brother goes “you  should say:  it doesn’t matter if the Phillies are on a losing streak, because as soon as it’s game one of the playoffs it’s going to be like a scene from “Over the Top” with Stallone where he just turns his hat around. The Philly mentality is going to kick in and they’ll be great again.”
Me:  Great reference!  Nothing like a movie about arm wrestling to fire up the troops!
Let’s switch over to food.  Any specific cuisine or food that you’re liking a lot right now?
Joe:  I just came back from Montreal, where they have this really good Lebanese place.  They have really good shawarma.  I love shawarma and it’s really hard to find good shawarma.  The Comedy Cellar in NYC used to do shawarma and it was incredible.  They had the big spit in the front window and they would just carve the meat right off of it.  For some reason, they couldn’t do it anymore though.  So anyway, some people told us about this place in Montreal called Boustan (www.boustan.ca).  This place should have its own reality shown.  There is this Lebanese guy who owns it and he wears his glasses as low on his nose as you possibly can.  He was yelling at people on the phone that are placing orders and then really nice to the customers there.  He’s like shaking the walls when he’s on the phone (screaming with an accent) “What do you want?! What is your street?! “And then he looks back at the counter and then he’s like “hey, how are you guys doing?  What can I get you?”  I was like “you need your own reality show dude.”  He was like “yes I should.  I should definitely have my own show.” 
Another place that I talk about on my podcast a bunch is this pizza place called Frank Pepe’s.  It’s in New Haven, CT and its’ apparently legendary.  I guess Sinatra used to send someone up there when he came to NYC just to bring him back a pie.  That says a lot, because there is plenty of good pizza in New York.  They actually have one in Yonkers, which is about twenty minutes away from my place, that I didn’t even know about and they have this phenomenal clam pie.  Have you ever had it?
Me:  No, I’ll have to try it sometime though!
Joe:  It’s in New Haven and there are lines that wrap around the block.  There is one street that has two pizza places.  Wooster Street I believe.  There are two places there and they rival each other.  Sally’s pizza is their rival and they have lines around the corner too.  It’s like this Little Italy place in New Haven.  It’s funny, because you’re two blocks from the worst neighborhood.  Everyone is like “no, you’re fine here.”  It’s like “two blocks over is bad, but here is fine?”  I do these freshman orientations at University of New Haven and every time I go up there, I shoot over to Pepe’s to grab a clam pie.
Me:  Sounds awesome.  Do you cook a lot?
Joe:  I try to cook, but I’m not like amazing at it.   My wife is pregnant right now and her taste is really particular right now, so we have a whole bunch of weird shit right now in our fridge.  I’m like ten pounds heavier, because of it.
Me:  I hear ya man.  We were shooting for an at home birth, so we had all this stuff in the fridge that was full fat, because it’s good for the pregnancy.  I actually did P90X and gained weight!
Joe:  That’s hilarious!
Me:  Not good weight either.
Joe:  I make a lot of dishes that are pretty good, but nothing where I think “I slam dunked that meal.”  My wife’s grandma makes some amazing meatballs.  She’s ninety-eight and still makes them by hand.  She still cooks for everyone at ninety-eight!  She does this weird thing where she puts raisins in them.  I swear to god though, it’s incredible. 
Me:  How about comedy?  For people out there that don’t know; tell us about your podcast.
Joe:  It’s called “Fixing Joe” and basically every week I talk about a real life problem that I’m having.  I go to my guests and Facebook and Twitter for advice on how to solve my problems.  What ends up happening though, is when I’m trying to fix myself, I’m actually fixing others when I’m listening to them, because most people can relate.  I had Artie Lange on and he talked about being in a psych ward and anxiety and depression.  A lot of people emailed me and told me that was really therapeutic to hear.  We have our dark sides and we go through them and other people found that therapeutic.  I really thought “wow, this is what I wanted the podcast to become”, which is helping people as they’re helping me.  I seem to always be fascinated with the negative parts of people’s lives and trying to turn that into something positive.   I have this CD called “When Comedians Attack” that is just all heckling arguments.  Most comedians don’t want that part of comedy out there or any of the behind the scenes stuff out there.  I thought “screw that, I’m making a whole album of these.”  I was actually telling Bill Burr about it and he said “that’s a really good idea!  I’d buy that album.”  That’s when I realized I have to do this, because I really respect Bill and if he’s telling me he would buy it; tons of people out there would buy it.  It actually sells more than my regular stand up CD. 
Me:  That’s a really cool approach for sure.
Joe:  Florentine starting doing really well with “Terrorizing Telemarketers” and I think when people come to your shows and do stand up; they don’t want to buy a CD of the same act you just did onstage.  If you have something a little different, they might want it.
Me:  Very cool.  Besides the podcast, what else do you have going on?
Joe:  I’ve been going to LA monthly now, because I’m a regular on Chelsea Lately on E!  I just did the Craig Ferguson Show and that should air in a month or so.  I’ve been opening for Craig which is pretty cool.  The podcast is really what I’m passionate about though.  I’m actually going to try to do some live versions of Fixing Joe.  I’m going to air those as podcast, but I might to add some sketches and funny act it out kind of things along with a man on the street type thing too.  Ultimately my goal isn’t to get comedian’s advice, but to get regular people’s advice.  Today I was on morning radio talking about my wife and saying how she gives me rules about what I can say onstage.  When I was done, they have this mini audience on Preston & Steve (93.3 WMMR in Philly), this lady says I have advice for you.  She tells me to say whatever I want about my wife, but when I’m done I have to say “yea, but she’s got a really nice ass!”  I just like hearing regular people’s advice.  I’m doing my first one in two different places in NYC.  One will be at the Creek in the Cave (http://creeklic.com/) and the other one is going to be at the PIT (Peoples Improv Theater http://thepit-nyc.com/).  The one at the PIT will be on November 12th at 11pm at night.  I’ll have three comedians on there and I may Artie Lange to do me another favor and come on for that one. 
Me:  My weekly generic question:  What were the biggest comedy influences on you growing up?
Joe:  Steve Martin was the first album I ever owned.  I had Comedy is not Pretty and Let’s get Small.  Those were definitely big influences.  It’s funny when you listen to a lot of these comedians on podcasts and hear what they did as kids and you realize that’s exactly what you use to do!  I’m listening to Phil Rosenthal’s (creator of Everybody Loves Raymond) book on tape right now and he was talking about how he used to use a tape recorder to tape shows.  He would put the recorder up against speaker on the TV and I thought “oh my god, I used to do the same exact thing.”  I used to do that and then listen to it on my paper route and try to memorize them.  I remember the movie Meatballs had a major influence on me from a comedy standpoint.  Eddie Murphy’s Delirious is a classic.  Saturday Night Live was a staple for me.
Me:  What about fellow comedians?  Like who is a colleague of yours, like Bill Burr, that you really like or get influenced by.
Joe:  I love Bill Burr, definitely.  I things he’s one of the best young comics that’s out there.  He has that “stream of consciousness” style where it seems like he’s just having a conversation. 
Me:  When I first started comedy I emailed bunch of comedians and asked them various questions about getting started in comedy and Bill Burr was always cool about getting back to me.  Bill and Jim Gaffigan were always great with that.
Joe:  It’s funny that you said Jim Gaffigan, because he’s on my podcast this week.
Me:  I’m sure that will be hilarious one!
Joe:  Yea, I’m sure he’ll be great.  Artie Lange too, because we’re pretty close.  He’s always kind of been my mentor.  Obviously he’s not my life mentor, but he’s definitely my career mentor.  He always comes back to “work on your act.  Make your stand up as good as you can and hopefully everything else will fall around you.”  I’m a huge Brian Regan fan too.  He’s the one comedian that me and my wife can both sit down and watch together.  There are things that I think are hilarious that she just doesn’t find funny at all.  Like “Fast Times at Ridgemont High.”  We watched that and she thought the movie sucked and it almost made me doubt the movie.  I watched it again with one of my guy friends and I was like “yep, that’s hilarious!”
Me:  Great stuff man.   Can’t wait till you come back to Philly!
Joe:  Thanks man!

For more information on Joe, please visit:
joematarese.com
To subscribe to his podcast, please visit:
http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/fixing-joe-with-joe-matarese/id442163901

Joe can be found on Twitter @thejoematarese

Sarah Tiana: Falcons fan, lover of pho and owner of one of the best “how I became a comic” stories ever

Posted: 23rd September 2011 by admin in Comedy, Food, Sports, Uncategorized
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The album cover for Sarah Tiana's "Commodity"

I had no real specific plan for my first female interview, but I absolutely hit the jackpot with Sarah Tiana.  I know Sarah is a big sports fan and I know she is hilarious, so I figured she was a perfect fit.

Sarah is originally from Calhoun, GA and she moved to Hollywood about ten years ago to pursue an acting career.  As you will read later, she found her calling with standup comedy.  She has done shows all over the country, but her passion is doing shows for the troops.  She is about to embark on the “Leatherneck Tour” which is a welcoming show, of sorts, for Marines coming home from overseas.

Tiana is probably best known for her reoccurring character “Carmen” on the hugely popular Comedy Central show Reno 911.  She has been seen on Showtime, Comics Unleashed, NFL.com and “We Love you Mrs. Bevins” (a documentary featuring comedians in Iraq) along with several other appearances.

Sarah probably has one of the coolest “this was when I knew I was going to do comedy for the rest of my life” stories I’ve ever heard.  Please read my interview with the multi-talented comedian and actress and I promise you will not be disappointed.

Me:  Just so you know, this is my first female interview so this is a major historical moment in women’s rights history.
Sarah:  Ha! Great. 
Me: So what’s your sport of choice to watch?
Sarah:  Football definitely.  I’m a huge Falcons fan.  Football is a little more fun, because it’s once a week.  I hate that now they’re trying to make it three nights a week with the Thursday game.  I love the Sunday night and Monday night games, but there is no need to have the extra one.  Football is something to look forward to each week, where baseball is such a longer season and has so many games.  It’s hard right now, because I’m such a diehard Braves fan and we’re still in the lead for the wild card, but I’m getting into the football mode plus I have a fantasy team this year.  This part of the year can be overwhelming for me with sports.
Me:  It’s like the best and worst part of the year almost.
Sarah:  Yea, it completely is.  After my birthday in February, because the Super Bowl is over and I already had my birthday, so I’m sitting on my hands waiting for baseball to start.  I hate basketball so much and I just can’t get into it, so it just makes me angry that I can’t watch any sports.  I guess there’s March Madness, but there is still a month or so where there is nothing on TV.
Me:  I was living in Atlanta a couple of years ago and I had season tickets for the Falcons.  The atmosphere was amazing, but I couldn’t believe how easy it was to get them.
Sarah:  I feel like people in Atlanta aren’t really devout sports fans.  I worked for the Braves for about two years in ’99 and ’00.  In ’99 we went to the World Series with the Yankees and that was the year we couldn’t sell out for World Series.  It was pretty ridiculous and embarrassing and it made me a little angry when I lived there.
Me:  In some of the more diehard markets, like here (Philly), they make fun of Atlanta fans because they aren’t selling out any games.
Sarah:  Yea, it’s sad.  Maybe Nascar sells out.  SEC football is so huge in Atlanta though.  The college football  fans are extremely devout.  I went to school down there and its nuts how hardcore they are.  Maybe they just never transition into fans of pro teams. 
Me:  So many people are transplants too.
Sarah:  Yea and I think so many people live outside of the city and they think “drive all that way into the city? No thanks.”
Me:  They probably think “yea there might be black people there too”
Sarah:  I know “that’s sounds dangerous.  I could get killed.”  It’s like God I hope you get killed.  I hope someone kills you for being such a shitty sports fan!
Me:  How long have you been playing fantasy football for?
Sarah:  This is actually only my second year.  I’ve done parlays, where you pick the winner of each game, for a while now, but this is only my second year doing fantasy.  I won my first two games.   I actually put a New England Patriots player on my team.  Aaron Hernandez, one their three TE’s they have on their team this year and he just knocked it out of the park and I ended up winning.  I normally wouldn’t put a Patriots player my team, because I hate them so much.  I kind of feel like I would rout for Al-Qaeda before I’d rout for New England.  I think I’m also just jealous, because Patriots fans are the best!  They are really devoted and they know so much about other teams, so they can talk shit about other teams.  I find that I’m always impressed by them.  I don’t know if their fans always cared about their team that much though, so I don’t know if I should say they’re the best fans.  The Patriots have definitely had some bad years and no one was going to the games.
Me:  I never met a Patriots fan until like 2000.
Sarah:  Yea, exactly.  You always knew Jets fans and Cowboys fans.  That’s another thing that bugs me by the way.  People always say “the Cowboys are America’s team!”  No they’re not!  America doesn’t love the Cowboys more.  America hates them more if anything.  It’s from all those teams in, I guess, the 80’s that were more recognizable because they were on TV more.  Kind of like how the Cubs we on WGN and the Braves were on TBS…I think they did that with football in the 80’s, because they had more fans.  I guess that makes sense, but fuck the Cowboys man!
Me:  There are certain teams that people just hate from birth.  For me, I hated the Redskins from day one.  No clue why, but I’ve always hated them.  The Jets too, but that’s only recent.  I just think they’re phonies.  I’m not sold on them at all.
Sarah:  I picked the Redskins to win this weekend actually.  I think Rex Grossman is a great addition for them.  I think his playing style is perfect for that team.  Sometimes he’s not the greatest QB, but he seems to be a great leader.  I think they need someone to say “hey fuckers, I got the experience here.  Follow me!”  Mcnabb just shit the bed when he was there and now he throws for 39 yards in week one.  It was just embarrassing. 
Me:  Have you ever heard of a QB playing all four quarters and not getting blown out and throws for only 39 yards?
Sarah:  It was just sad.  Me and my friend Patrick did a video called “Paddy and Sara make football talk.”  We just kind of recap three games in 90 seconds.  We talked about Mcnabb and how he shit the bed.  Check it out sometime.  (Here is the link)  We talk about the Cowboys too.  I don’t understand how the Cowboys constantly defend Tony Romo.  The way they talk about him in the locker room all I think is “are these guys in an abusive relationship or something?” they’re like “you just don’t him like I do!  He’s good to me. I just fell down the stairs I swear.”  I think that the Cowboys have so much talent, but they are mentally challenged by the owner.  Jerry Jones just freaks them the fuck out!  It’s like some weird cult where he makes them believe that he’s helping them. 
Me:  He definitely has that dictator mentality.
Sarah:  Yea and that’s why he’s got them programmed to say such good things.  They’re being trained to act like football player, but they’re not being trained to play like football players. 
Me:  The operation down there seems weird to me too.
Sarah:  It’s like “do you guys need help?  Do you need someone to call?”  I guess I’m not that concerned.  You chose to be a fucking Cowboy, that’s your problem.
Me: Let’s switch over to food.  Are you to cooking?
Sarah:  You just assume because I’m a woman that I’m…I’m just joking don’t worry.  Actually I have this secret fantasy of leaving the entertainment business and opening up a bakery in Italy.  It would have to be a town that doesn’t have television or anything though. If I ever quit the business, I just wouldn’t be able to watch it continue without me, so I’d just have to disappear. 
Me:  I was trying to figure out the no TV thing.
Sarah:  Yea, I just wouldn’t want to be reminded of the business at all.  So, yes I love to bake and cook.  I don’t know, I just love following a recipe.  It’s comforting I guess.  Also, I just love to eat.  That’s another reason why I’d have to quit the business.  I think there is this inner fat girl in me that is just dying to eat her way out.  The voice would say “come on; let’s just eat biscuits and gravy all day and every day.”  I would say “whatever you say Lisa” and then we would move to Italy.
Me:  With no TV.
Sarah:  Exactly!  What do you cook?
Me:  I like to cook all sorts of stuff.  Italian, Thai, modern American.  I like making stuff from scratch now.  Like pasta for example.  It’s fun and kind of rewarding to make stuff like that from scratch.
Sarah:  I’ve been dying to make pasta from scratch.  Is it hard?
Me:  Kind of.  It’s fairly easy to make the dough.  I like to make it by hand, but it’s really easy to make it with a food processor.  It just takes some time to get used to working with it to make the actual pasta.  Getting the right thickness and kneading it out properly…stuff like that.   Pasta makers can be a little finicky too, but it’s worth it I think.
Sarah:  I’m really impatient when it comes to cooking, so anything that’s long and meticulous…like when I make my chicken and dumplings, I don’t even roll out the dough.  I just pick it up and make little balls and throw it in.  Even biscuits!  I don’t cut out biscuits.  I plop down with a spoon.  I’m eating them; I don’t need them to be pretty.  Unless I’m making like a pie or a cake, it’s not going to be all that fancy looking.
Me:  As long as it tastes good right?
Sarah:  Exactly.
Me:  Any particular cuisine or dish that you’re liking right now?
Sarah:  I can’t make it, because it’s quite the process, but that Vietnamese dish pho.  That’s my favorite thing in the whole world right now.
Me:  I made it once and it came out pretty good, but it is quite the process. 
Sarah:  Doesn’t it take like seven days to make the broth?
Me:  The way I made it was a full day process.
Sarah:  Did it still taste good?
Me:  Yea it was surprisingly good.  I’d definitely do it with meat next time, but it was good.
Sarah:  Put some bacon in that!  Pho is definitely my thing right now though.  It’s all I’ve been in the mood for lately. 
Me:  Pho is tasty for sure.
Sarah:  The other day I was the farmer’s market and I saw a yellow watermelon!  It made me so happy.  Have you ever had one?
Me:  I’ve seen them, but I’ve never actually had one.
Sarah:  They’re really good.  They’re just a little sweeter.  I bought one and cut it up to bring with me for camping.  Me and some friends went camping up at Sequoia.  That’s always a really fun cooking experience!  You get really clever with cooking, because all you have is a fire.  There is no griddle or skillet or anything.  You just have wire and tin foil.  Eveything is cooked in tin foil.  I brought little langosta and we cooked those with some vegetables.
Me:  Let’s move over to comedy.  What are you up to now?
Sarah:  Right now, I’m about to go on the “Leatherneck Tour” at the end of September.  It’s a tour that’s welcoming Marines that are coming home overseas.  We definitely going to the Carolinas, but I’m not sure where else the tour is going.  That’s exciting though, because that’s my favorite thing in the whole world is comedy for the soldiers.  I’ll be doing that for the rest of the year as far as I know.  I really don’t like to leave Los Angeles that much, because I don’t want to miss any auditions.  In the world of comedy, I could do the road every week but it doesn’t really benefit me that much.  I can’t really get a much bigger fan base that way.  I tend to open up for bigger comics, but I know the key for me is to get onto television and work out of here (LA) at the places that I want to perform with fans that will appreciate it.  I’m working really hard out here though.  I just finished my second screenplay, so I’m hoping to sell that.
Me:  Who are you’re top four or five comics that you look up to or were influenced by?
Sarah:  Mitch Hedberg and Jerry Seinfeld were the only two comics early on.  When I lived in Atlanta, I worked at the college radio station there.  We’d interview all the comics that would come to the Punchline.  The very first person to every give me tickets to a comedy show was Mitch Hedberg.  That was the very first time I’d ever been to a comedy show.  I was never told that I was funny or I never thought that I had to be a comedian.  I had no idea what I wanted to be.  In college, I realized I wanted to be an actress.  I had been in plays my whole life and I started taking acting classes in college.  I knew I was good actress, but people in the south are more like “Sarah you are such a good actress.  You would make great dental hygienist.”  You just don’t think about stuff like that as a career; it’s just something that you’re good at.  But I ended up going to acting school in Paris and I started doing more radio and I majored in film.  I knew I was going to move to Hollywood and I wanted to understand the business.  So I went to Hollywood and I was doing a bunch of odd jobs to pay the bills.  One of the jobs I was doing, there was a guy who was like “Sarah you are so funny, you have to stand up!”  I didn’t even really know what that meant.  I didn’t even know how the whole process worked.  One day I was watching the news and I saw that this guy shot himself in the head with a nail gun and didn’t even realize it and I wrote my first joke “I wouldn’t feel three and a half inches if I got nailed.”  I still use that joke.  It’s much longer than that, but that was my first joke.  I did that at my first open mic.  So I started doing open mics for like six months and I loved the stage.  Coming from a theater background, being onstage by myself was not the most uncomfortable thing for me.  I still didn’t quite understand stand up and how it worked.  All I knew is it was a great outlet and I really cared about it.  I wasn’t doing well in the business though, so I decided I was going to move back east to Wilmington, NC where they have studios and stuff.  I packed my bags and I went to go see a movie.  The movie I wanted to see wasn’t playing, but Jerry Seinfeld’s “Comedian” was playing.  I watched that instead and everyone was laughing, but I was sitting there crying.  I was crying because I knew this is what I was going to do for the rest of my life.  I was going to be a comic.  What he did in the movie, was exactly what I was going to have to do.  That’s why I was at this movie theater and the other movie was playing and it was at such a pivotal time…I was meant to be a comedian.  I bought his CD “I’m Telling You for the Last time” and I just got to really appreciate comedy and made me want to work as hard as he did.  I still don’t have his work ethic though.  I don’t wake up and write every day for hours. 
Me:  That’s seriously one of the coolest “this is when I knew” comedian stories I’ve ever heard.
Sarah:  Thanks.  I think one of the amazing things about comedy is that it doesn’t really matter how you start.  I have so many friends that knew they wanted to be a comic their whole lives and it almost makes me uncomfortable that I didn’t.  I never stayed up to watch an Eddie Murphy comedy special.  I didn’t grow up on George Carlin or Bill Cosby.  I grew up on them on sitcoms.  I literally thought when I started doing comedy that Roseanne (Barr) didn’t start doing stand up until after her sitcom.  I had no idea that stand up led to her sitcom.  I think that helped me a lot at the beginning.  It made me realize that I got into comedy for the right reason and not the wrong reason.  I didn’t know it would lead to anything.  It was just something I was doing that felt natural. It was never something I sought out to be.  Even when my friends and family found out what I was doing they were like “Oh that’s just Sarah and her hobbies.”  Then it just turned into a career!  It literally turned into a, I think, because I approached it in a very humble way.  Not expecting anything from it and just trying to be funny and trying to never let an audience down.  I never shit on the crowd.  It’s not their fault if their not laughing.  You know how a lot of comics do that?
Me:  Completely
Sarah:  It’s more like “No, I’m not telling it right!”  These people are still here, why would I be like “fuck you guys”?  I’m just so impressed and mesmerized that people will sit there and listen to something I have to say.  Comedy could use a little more humility at times I think.
So I guess the really long answer to your question…
Me:  Mitch Hedberg, Jerry Seinfeld, and Roseanne?
Sarah:  Yep!  Currently working, there are a lot of people that I enjoy watching but there is no one that I seek out really. 
Me:  So with this whole “humble” thing, you don’t drop the mic and walk off the stage after your set?
Sarah:  Ha! No, I don’t drop the mic and stomp off stage.  I’m never that impressed with myself.  I always look at what I could’ve done better.  I still bomb occasionally.  I had a really rough show a few weeks ago at this comedy club in downtown Los Angeles.  It was mostly a black and Latino crowd and all the comics were also either black or Latino and that crowd just ate me up.  I wasn’t ready for it and I didn’t handle it well.  I didn’t address the situation and that’s what happens when you have fear and you don’t discuss it.  I was angrier at them for not getting it, instead of caring enough about what they were looking for.  It was one of those shows that sticks with you for a while and just makes you think “don’t ever do that again!”
Me:  I did a show in Atlanta and this was truly an all black show.  It was advertised that way, but literally every audience member and comedian was black.  No exaggeration.  Long story short, this one dude saw me kill it at another show and he thought I should close out the first portion of the show.  The first part of the show went well over an hour and every comedian was kind of that very loud “Def Comedy Jam” like.  So I come out to close it and I’m in my usually stupid vest and tie, looking extremely white.  I tried to address the situation and asked them something like “do you guys want a second to adjust your settings?” and I BOMBED. 
Sarah: Yea, but then the opposite happens.  You think you’re going to get ruined by a crowd and you just crush it!
Me: Well this has been great…good luck with everything!
Sarah:  Thanks!

For more information about Sarah go to www.sarahtiana.com
Follow her on Twitter on @sarahtiana and find her on Facebook here
Her album “Commodity” can be found here

97.5 The Fanatic’s Dream Job Champ: Jason Ashworth

Posted: 15th September 2011 by admin in Comedy, Food, Sports, Uncategorized
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Dream Job Redemption Story: Jason Ashworth

I first met Jason about a year ago and every time we would talk sports (which was pretty much every time we’d talk), I always thought the same thing: “This dude is way too polished and knowledgeable to not be on TV or the radio or something!”

Enter 97.5 The Fanatic’s Dream Job competition.  Far and away the best sports talk radio station in Philly, 97.5 The Fanatic decided to create a spin off to the very popular ESPN’s “Dream Job”.  Basically, crazed Philly area fans could create a video of themselves ranting about Philly sports.  The station would go through all of these videos (it ended up being over 500) and whittle it down to the top ten.  These ten would battle it out on the radio to see who the fans liked the most and narrow it down to two and eventually the station would pick a winner.  The winner would get a job co-hosting a weekend show for one year. 

Jason actually was a contestant on ESPN’s Dream Job during their second season and finished in the top five, so he was all too familiar with this concept.  Not thinking much of it, Ashworth sent in a tape right before the deadline.  Just in case the title of this article doesn’t completely give it away; Jason won the contest!

Jason is the current emcee for the Philadelphia Soul and the former emcee for the Wilkes-Barre Pioneers.  He has also worked for ABC, Comcast and Fox doing everything from hosting to producing sports related content.

With his new gig at 97.5, the sky is the limit for this multi-talented Penn State alum.  So read up on what Jason thinks of the three greatest topics in the world!

Me:  Who are you digging on in comedy right now?
Jason: Right now?  Kevin Hart for sure.  He’s a Philly guy and he’s hilarious.  The love the way he relates certain things and how animated he is.  I love when he talks about his wife beating his ass.  Dude’s fucking hilarious!  Also, Jim Gaffigan.  I’ve always been a fan of his.  His bits are always so calm and still hilarious.
Me:  What about comedy shows?
Jason:  I don’t watch anything right now really.  I mean I love Eastbound and Down, but that is only on here and there.  I know it’s really dumb, but I think that’s why it makes me laugh.  I just tell people to take it for what it is and they’ll find it funny.  Other than that I can’t think of any other show I consistently watch, which is actually kind of sad.
Me:  What about food?  What are you cooking now?
Jason:  I don’t cook.  Meg (girlfriend) does all the cooking and I’m the worst judge of what she makes. She’ll never be able to get better, because I eat everything and I love everything.  She could put shit on a plate and I’d eat it up and love it. 
Me:  What about going out?  What’s your favorite thing to order?
Jason:  Anything with a vodka dude.  That’s the easiest decision for me to make when I see vodka sauce on the menu.  Also, a nice cut of steak cooked medium-rare.  If I’m out for lunch, I always start with a French onion soup.  Where ever I go I like to test it out and I’m usually not satisfied unfortunately.  Also, I love a good seafood pasta.  If I can get the shrimp in there with mussels and clams all into a bowl with some pasta; I’m good.  Like a nice Mediterranean pasta is my favorite, if I’m not ordering the vodka sauce. 
Me:  What’s the craziest thing you’ve eaten?
Jason:  Ass!  Seriously though, I haven’t eaten anything crazy.  I would pretty much try anything, but I haven’t eaten anything all that crazy.  I don’t go out to restaurants that are serving monkey brains and shit like that.
Me:  Let’s switch over to sports.
Jason:  My comfort zone.
Me:  This comfort zone moment is brought to you by Hanes…fucking Mike & Mike fire off so many of those during their show.
Jason:  Haha…they have to though.  That’s how their getting paid.
Me:  True.  Million dollar question:  Philadelphia Eagles expectations this year?
Jason:  For me, the expectations are really high.  There are a lot of people in Philly that are overly concerning and are pointing out the obvious on the negative side.  They point at the offensive line, they point at the line backers, they point at all these holes on the team, but let’s face they were a playoff team last year.  Everyone was looking at that playoff game against the Packers saying “One of these teams has a very good shot at going to the Super Bowl” and they were right.  Last year they still question marks on the line and they had questionable line backers, but this year they addressed everything imaginable outside of that.  They still have Michael Vick, they tore up the defensive line and they got the best possible secondary you can put together in the NFL.  That’s the best thing you can do in my opinion.    You can win inside out or outside in.  If you have a dominant pass rush up front, like the Giants in ’07, you don’t have to worry about being on an island as a cornerback.  You don’t have to worry about holding coverage for as long, because you’re getting pressure on the QB.  Or you can win outside in, where you can lock down the receivers which gives your defensive line that extra couple of seconds to get to the QB.  It’s very rare that a defense can win strictly because of their line backers.  The Eagles are so solid on the line and the back that the line backers don’t scare me that much.  Plus we have the same offensive weapons which teams were struggling to stop last year.  I’m not saying Super Bowl title or bust, but with this team constituted as is I think that the NFC championship game and Super Bowl berth should undoubtedly be in the forefront.  If they don’t make it to the NFC championship, I’m sure it will be called a bust and they would probably be justified.  They still have to gel though, so let’s just let it play out.  I don’t care how they do in first four to six weeks either.  Look at the Packers last year!  They went 3-3 to start the season and then tore it up at the end.  Show me how you’re playing in week 13, 14, and 15.  That’s where it matters.
Me:  It’s good to be in Philly right now!  Same question for the Phillies.
Jason:  Again, people overly concerned here I don’t get it.  What are they like 40 games over .500?  People in Philly will find a reason to complain about everything and anything.  You have three Cy Young candidates in your starting rotation and people are worried.  Cliff Lee has six complete game shut outs this year.  Roy Halladay is good that he isn’t even getting mention anymore.  The biggest advantage they have though is Cole Hamels is their third starter!  Who’s the Braves third starter?  What about Boston?  Or New York?  Not only is Cole going to pitch the third game but potentially game six or seven.  While anyone of those guys can be beat on an individual day, you’re not going beat those in succession.  You’ve got Halliday then Lee then Hamels!  Add to that, Hunter Pence in the five spot.  Ryan Howard has 31 long balls now and a lot that came after the Pence acquisition.  They now have the right handed bat and they have the line up in order…I just don’t see how anyone is going to beat them this year.  That’s not me being a homer.  I just don’t see how anyone can stack up to beat them this year. 
Me:  I’m a Sox fan and I completely agree.  It’s fucking annoying to be honest.  So tell me about Dream Job.  The second one for you.
Jason:  I wasn’t even going to submit a video.  First off, what is there to bitch about?  I can’t bitch about the Phillies, the NBA is locked out, and I’m not going to bitch about the Flyers.  Plus, there is still some resentment from losing on the ESPN Dream Job competition.  I fell a day late and a dollar short and I didn’t want to put myself out there again.  Finally, Meg just said “will you shut up and just do it?”  I threw a quick video up on like the last day and didn’t even think about it after that.  So they announce the top ten and I’m not even in Philly.  I’m flying home from LA and I land in Chicago for my layover and I turn on my phone and it starts blowing up with text messages, emails and voice mails.  I made the top ten!  So now, one day a week, two people go on for a bit on air with one of their hosts.  I’m thinking at this point “no chance in hell I’m getting into the top two.”  I’ll go on and just have some.  So I’m back in LA, for another trip, and the station told me that I will get a call, before they make the announcement, to let me know if I made it to the top two.  I didn’t it get a call, so I chalked it up for a loss.  I put myself out there again and sure enough I’m a day late and a dollar short.  I’m at LAX and I get a call from Meg and I answer in kind of shitty mood.  She’s screaming “They said your name!  They said your name!” and I was like “Holy shit.”  I’m fast pacing it through the airport now not knowing what to do.  I wanted yell and fist pump, but I didn’t know what to do so it was more of a shriek and a half fist pump.  It was really cool to get the call from her and not someone from the station though.  I still didn’t think I’m winning the competition though.  I’ll go on with Mike Missanelli (the number one rated sports radio host in Philly), there is no way I’m winning the competition.
Me:  The other dude was really popular too!
Jason:  Yea, he was killing it!  I thought “okay whatever, I’ll go on and we’ll see what happens.”  I mean the video is out there, when they made the announcement, and I definitely wasn’t expected it, but it happened.  I don’t know how Patrick.
Me:    You killed it though.  You totally deserved it.
Jason:  Thanks, but you don’t feel that way.  There is so much pressure.  This bar was jammed packed with people just staring at you, waiting for you to screw up.  The 97.5 guys were grilling us and everyone is hanging on every word you say.  Looking back on it, I would change some of my answers now that I’ve thought of it.
Me:  Like sticking up for Andy Reid?
Jason:  Ha!  I’ll still stick up for Reid!
Me:  Congrats my man…well deserved!
Jason:  Thanks brother. 
Jason can be found on Twitter @jason_ashworth
and check out http://www.975thefanatic.com/ to find out when he’s going to be on the air next!

Congrats on your Success: Dan Levy

Posted: 7th September 2011 by admin in Comedy, Food, Uncategorized
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Dan Levy's #3 best selling comedy album on iTunes: "Congrats on your Success"

 Dan Levy has had a ton of success at a very young age.  He currently writes for the upcoming NBC sitcom Whitney, he is the executive producer on a VH-1 sketch show that comes out later this year and he has the #3 comedy album on iTunes.  

What impresses me the most is that he was unable to support his album by touring, because of all his writing obligations and was still able to hit that high on the iTunes charts.  It was simply hardcore fans and 5 star reviews that are putting Dan into the A-list status of comedians.

With my extremely ghetto recording set up, I chatted with Dan about grilling broccolini, eating veal hip, the beauty of Comedy Works in Denver and plenty more.  Please enjoy Mr. Levy and for fucks sake GO BUY HIS ALBUM so he can hit #1 on the charts.

Me:  So what’s your favorite sport to watch right now?
Dan:  You might want to skip the sports section, because I don’t really pay attention to sports at all.
Me:  What type of food are you into now?  What are you cooking?
Dan: I just got a grill, so I’ve been fucking grilling like crazy lately.  Pretty much anything that you can grill, I’ve been eating.  Ahi tuna, chicken, broccolini, you know…no big deal.
Me:  Any particular cuisine you like when you’re going out?
Dan:  I’ve kind of fallen into becoming a foodie, because I have some friends that are rich now.  So when I go out with them, I’m forced to eat like veal hip or whatever else they’re serving.  I actually really enjoy the drinks at the nicer restaurants more than anything.  I love those funky cocktails and all that stuff.  Like anything that has giant ice cubes with cucumbers in them; I’m in.  That should be a gay joke, but it’s not.  My favorite food though overall would probably be sushi.
Me:  Any specific cities that you like going to because of their food?
Dan:  Austin!  I was just in Austin a few months ago and that was probably the best eating I’ve done in my whole life.  From ribs to sushi to Mexican fusion…it was just non-stop amazing food.  I went to Blacks, outside of Austin, and just ate ribs and brisket.  I went to like three rib places in one day.  My heart actually stopped beating at 11 O’clock at night but it was totally worth it.
Me: So tell me about your album “Congrats on your Success”, how high did it make it on iTunes?
Dan:  It made it up to third actually!  It came out on Comedy Central Records, but I’m writing on the new sitcom Whitney so I couldn’t really tour to support it and to see the fans still go out and buy it is really awesome to see.  I want to get to number one on iTunes, so everyone needs to go out and get it!
Me:  Where did you record it at?
Dan:  I recorded at Comedy Works in Denver.  I think that’s the best comedy club in the country.  Low ceilings, amazing audiences, and great owners.  I did six shows that weekend and they were all packed and they were all a lot of fun.
Me:  That’s where Dave Attell did one of his albums and so did Greg Giraldo!
Dan:  Yea, I listened to Skanks for the Memories so much when and I always thought “When I going to record my album, I want to do it at Comedy Works.”  Now I feel like everyone is doing it, because it’s a really amazing club. 
Me:  I used to do their open mics a while back and they packed that place every night.
Dan:  Yea, it was a really cool place to record. It was a great weekend.  Of course I record six shows thinking I would blend them all together and we just use one show from Saturday night.
Me:  On the subject of great clubs, what are favorite clubs right now?
Dan:  Obviously Comedy Works in Denver.  I like Caroline’s in NYC is always good, the LA Improv is one of my favorites, Go Bananas in Cincinnati is great and the DC Improv is also really good.  I had to cancel the Punchline in San Francisco a few weeks ago, because of my scheduling.  For the first time in a long time, I’m landlocked.  I’m not flying at all and my American Airlines miles are hurting big time. 
Me:  I’m sure Whitney will be a big success and it will all be worth it though.
Dan:  Yea, the show is really funny and she’s super funny.  We already taped out second show and it came really well.  I think we’re going to be in great shape.
By the way, how’s the recording going.  Does anyone reading this realize that you’re recording from a cell phone on speaker with another cell phone?  It’s like the open mic of podcasts.
Me: Hilarious!  Luckily it’s a blog, so no one needs to see how ghetto my set up is.
Dan:  I know it’s a generic question, but who are favorite comedians past and present?
Bring the Pain is my favorite special ever, so obviously Chris Rock.  When I was growing up, I watched a lot of Seinfeld.   I went through a pretty intense Sam Kinison phase during my early college days.  I’ve always been into Stephen Wright.  Right now though, I’d say Chris Rock, Dave Attell, Louis C.K. are probably my favorites.  I love Greg Giraldo.  He was my favorite comic for a while.  He was really funny.  Like I’m saying anything that people don’t already know. 
Me: He’s my probably favorite comedian ever and it’s tough to explain to people that because everyone assumes you’re saying that because he died.
Dan:  When I was sophomore in college, I spent the summer in NYC and got to see him at the Cellar a bunch.  Even though I was doing a lot of comedy at that time, I would actually pay to see him every time he was onstage.  I love his bit about the civil war letter compared to how a letter would be written today.  I actually got to perform with him a bunch and I toured with about five years ago and we did this roast for Red Bull.  His album and Skanks for the Memories always get played on my iPod at least once a flight. 
Me:  Obviously, you’re writing for Whitney, but what are your other comedy plans for next few months.
Dan:  I’m writing for Whitney, I’m executive producing a sketch show for VH-1 and then in the spring I plan on going on tour and work on a new hour. 
Me:  Any particular concept to that tour?
Dan:  I’m going to make it a “Congrats on your Success” tour but I can’t really book it until I know my schedule for sure.  Whitney could go through March, so I can’t make any definite plans before that.  It will be a spring/summer tour and I’ll be sure to hit NYC, Austin, Portland…all the fun cities and do it up!

Dan can be found on Twitter @danlevy
You can purchase his album on iTunes here
For more info about Dan go to http://danlevyshow.com/

You Can Charge That to the Game: The Hilarious Tom Segura

Posted: 20th August 2011 by admin in Comedy, Food, Sports, Uncategorized
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Tom Segura: I ain’t going in the water. There kingfish in there.

 Hilarious Quick Clip of the “Kingfish”

I had seen Tom Segura on Conan and Live at Gotham and a few other places, but a few weeks ago I heard him on Mohr Stories (Jay Mohr’s podcast) and I couldn’t stop laughing.  Tom is such a unique comedian that I honestly didn’t want to get off the phone with him.  He has kind of a “he’s my hilarious buddy” feel to him, but on top of that, he’s very intellectual. 

Tom’s played pretty much every major comedy festival in the world and he regularly appears with radio giants Bob and Tom along with Jim Rome.  He’s now headlining all over North America and trust me when I say this “GO SEE HIM LIVE!” 

Tom and I spoke for a solid half hour about sports, abortions, soufflés, and the best comedians to listen too.  Check out what he had to say:

Me:  You have some sort of connection to “The U” (University of Miami) right?
Tom:  No, I went to high school about two and a half hours north of Miami.  There’s that proximity and I know a lot of alums and I’ve been to plenty of games, but I am a huge Florida State fan. 
Me:  Oh, so you’re probably happy about what happened there then?
Tom: You know I’m actually not.  It’s interesting to me in a lot ways though.  It’s not a Miami problem.  I think this goes on a lot more than people care to discuss or admit.  It’s happened to Miami before so obviously they might have a bit more of a problem, but there is stuff going on at Ohio State and a bunch other schools.  The thing is that most of it goes unreported. 
I mean I would have been much happier if it was happening to the University of Florida!  That would’ve been awesome.  I would love to hear that Urban Meir was providing prostitutes to his players.  I would’ve absolutely thrown a party tonight if that would’ve happened.  I mean the details of this whole thing are a little crazy, but I’m really not that floored by it. 
Me:  So what’s your sport of choice to watch/play?
Tom:  To watch…without question, football.  Football by a landslide!  If it were a year around sport, I would be in heaven.  I like college football way more than the NFL, but I think that’s just a byproduct of growing up in and around the south.  People just like it more down there and you just grow to have affection more for college football.  I still watch the NFL and I stay up on what’s going on, but I get more excited to watch college games.
I like all kinds of sports though man.  I played basketball, tennis, golf…I don’t play much of any of them any more though really.  Now, I’m just trying not to be a piece of shit so I’ve been running, lifting weights, working out with a trainer and trying not to be the fat slob that they have to lower out of my apartment with a crane. 
I love all sports though…except baseball though.  I hate baseball.
Me: Is it just because it’s slow and boring?
Tom:  Yea, I mean I never liked it as a kid and going to game is kind of fun, but it bores me to tears to sit in a room and watch baseball on TV.  I’d rather watch a live abortion than watch that.
Me:  What I don’t like about baseball is that C.C. Sabathia has this huge gut and he’s got like 17 wins this year.
Tom:  It’s amazing, some of these guys are such fat asses and they are like the best pitchers in baseball.  Dude sits on his ass all day and he has like a fucking 46 inch waist and he’s an athlete?
I think it’s all tied to your childhood.  I grew up playing football and just loving that sport, so I couldn’t really get into something as passive as baseball.  If I could’ve played football my entire life, I would have.  I mean, I would totally be one of the shady boosters handing out my money to my alma mater if I make it rich.  That’s how much I love it.  You’d be reading about me “Tom Segura is giving their players $1,000 a tackle and they’re in trouble.”  That might be me one day.
Me:  Once you get that big sitcom money, you’ll be paying for abortions like that Shapiro.
Tom:  Exactly, “here’s a Porsche…you seem like a nice kid.”  That dude was out his mind by the way.  He was having prostitution parties and giving out cash and jewelry.  It’s easy for us to hear these stories and think “these fucking kids are out of control.”  If you’re 18 or 19 years old, you don’t have any money, you’re a fucking super star every Saturday and you’re going to turn down all this stuff?  It’s a pretty big temptation for someone to say “I’m not doing that.  I don’t want these beautiful girls, go out on your yacht, and eat out at these nice restaurants.  I have a physics exam tomorrow.”  Come on man, 9 out of 10 guys are going to say “hell yea, let’s do this.”
Me:  Let’s switch over to food.  What type of food are you into right now?
Tom:  It’s kind of interesting, because I am working with a trainer right now but I have a love affair with good food.  I love French cuisine, Italian, Spanish, Japanese…I mean I love amazing, well executed food.  I’ve had the opportunity to eat at some really amazing places, but I also get really lazy and fat and shitty.  This is like the third time in my life where I thought “alright dude, you really have to fucking dial it back now.”  Now I have a food journal and my diet is more high protein with lots of fruits and vegetables.  The thing I never really thought of until this year is how much the food you eat effects the way you feel.  When you eat a lot of heavy, greasy food, it can just drag you down.  I’ve been eating so clean, just for a few weeks now, and it’s amazing how much better I feel day to day.  I mean I’m always going to love good food, but I do think about what I’m eating because I’m on this plan.  I almost have a greater resistance, because I know I don’t want to eat that shit and it’s not worth ruining the work out I just did.  In a perfect world I would just eat cheese every meal with sausage and steaks and soufflés.  I took a French cooking class about a year ago and holy shit that was my fucking downfall man.  I was making chocolate soufflés for dessert like four days a week.   
I’m 32 years old now and I’m hoping that I can get in shape now.  The good thing is that I’m gaining knowledge of what you’re actually doing to your body.  Once you understand what you’re eating and you can’t be an asshole and eat shit all the time.
I’ve been in really good shape before and in really bad shape too, but I realized that you really have to stay active with this.  You start to get older and you have more responsibilities, like you have a kid now, and you really have to stick with it.
Me: So what’s going on with comedy right now?
Tom:  I have this poster of my shows that are booked for the next few months and I called it “The Rest of the Year Tour.”  My schedule is on my website, but I’m doing Vegas next week then Phoenix then Winnipeg then Vancouver and Madison and a few other places.  I’m doing that and I’m writing a couple of things.  I’m working on writing a feature and a sitcom.  Just staying active and staying on the road.
Me:  Both current and past; who are your favorite comics to watch/listen to?
Tom: Growing up it was Eddie Murphy, Red Fox, Cosby…I only like black people apparently.  I love listening to Carlin and no one makes me laugh more than Dave Attell.
Me: He’s ridiculous man!
Tom:  Yea, I just love seeing him work.  I just laugh no matter what he does.  I just saw Louis C.K. do about an hour and a half in Montreal a couple of weeks ago.  He’s really fantastic man.  Bill Burr is great.  I haven’t seen him in a while, but I love David Cross.  He is fucking hilarious!  Patton Oswalt too.  You watch guys like that and you think “oh wow, I guess I’m not that good.”
Me: I saw Louie do a big theater here in Philly and he was unreal to see live.  He’s makes me want to quit comedy, because he’s so good.
Tom:  He really is unbelievable man. I mean this as a huge compliment, but it’s like he doesn’t care.  He puts it out there so much and he’s so open.  The comedy almost finds itself.  He’s sharing the most intimate things and either crazy or vulgar…it can be construed a million different ways, but it comes out absolutely hilarious all the time. 

I then shamelessly asked him to do his “I ain’t going in the water” routine which I will hopefully post it on here soon.

More info on Tom can be found:
 www.tomsegura.com
His podcast is called “Your Mom’s House” and it can be found at www.deathsquad.tv and on iTunes.
His Facebook page is:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Comedian-Tom-Segura/88598910215
And he can be found on Twitter @tomsegura

Robert Kelly talks MMA, Chick-fil-A and “Cheat”

Posted: 24th June 2011 by admin in Comedy, Food, Sports
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Boston native Bobby Kelly and I engaged in a twenty-five minute conversation that touched on dreams about maids giving blumpkins, gorging on Chick-fil-A, bipolar Canadians, MMA, film festivals and other typical topics that you would discuss with your priest or rabbi.

Bobby is the quintessential A-list comedian right now.  One day he is ordering lobster on a private jet while featuring for Dane Cook and another he is taking video of himself ordering enough Chick-fil-A to take down a rhino.  He has played the worst and best gigs in the country, but in the past few years he has really hit his stride as a top level stand up.

Kelly has been an A-lister for a long time now and things are really starting to blow up now.  Bobby, Bill Burr and Joe DeRosa (director) wrote, produced and funded a short film called “Cheat” that is taking the film festival circuit by storm.  “Cheat” has led to a book deal along with some other major news that should be announced later on in the year.

When people refer to a comedian as “one of kind”, they are generally right but Bobby takes that to a whole new level.  So enjoy my interview with the incomparable Robert Kelly.

Me: What’s up Bobby, its Patrick?
Bobby: Dude, I just woke up from this crazy dream.  I was at a family barbecue and I was taking a shit in this barrel and the maid started blowing me.
Me: She gave you a blumpkin in your dream?
Bobby: Yea man!
Me: So let’s open up with sports…what did you think of the Bruins this year?
Bobby: You know Boston is a big hockey town and when I was kid I was brought up on the Bruins.  I remember watching Cam Neely and Ray Bourque at my friend’s apartment in the projects in East Boston.  After Neely left and Bourque went to the Rangers and won a Stanley Cup…didn’t he go there?
Me: It was the Avalanche, but yea he left and won a cup.
Bobby: I don’t know I just kind lost my interest.  Once they had the laser thing on the puck and they went on strike, I just stopped watching.  I have a theory that if a Boston team or a New York team is in the playoffs or in a championship game, sports just gets much better.
Me: Definitely! Growing up a Sox fan surrounded by Yankee fans, I see that for sure.
Bobby: Yea, I don’t know why.  I’ve been watching them since Tampa this year.  I was actually in Tampa doing shows while they were playing.  I was keeping an eye on them, because everyone down there are big fans with their little fucking clappers.  It was so annoying to me, but I started watching them.  I have to take sneak peeks of them, because if I watch the whole game I feel like they lose.  I have to watch bits and pieces of them.  I’m kind of superstitious especially with hockey and baseball.  I think it’s great for the Bruins though.  Neely was there and everything, which was really cool.  It was ridiculous what happened after though…it was really stupid.
Me: Who would’ve thought Canadians would do that?!
Bobby: It’s so not Canadian!  It’s so funny, they’re the best and the worst people in the world.  They riot after the game and then the next day the whole city came out and cleaned up after.  What are you guys bipolar?  When the Lakers won, they just trashed the place and then went home.  There was nobody cleaning up!
Me: Vancouver is one of the nicest and safest cities out there too.
Bobby: Vancouver is one of my all time favorite cities.  Vancouver, Montreal, New York and San Francisco are my favorite cities out there.
Me: I know you’re big into UFC…any lesser known guys that we should keep an eye out for?
Bobby: He’s not completely unknown, but one of my favorite guys is Joe Lauzon.  He’s from Boston.  He’s not quite up there, but he’s on his way.  Stephanopoulos put a fucking end to his rise for now though.  It’s crazy now though, because UFC bought Strikeforce and they also merged WEC.  Now there are so many guys that are involved under Zuffa that are just going to become UFC in a year or two.  It kind of sucks, but I love it also because I know what they’re doing.  They’re making it so every card is jammed packed with professional fighters.  They’re trying to make it the NFL of MMA.  I just loved WEC though, because it was filled with people that nobody knew.   I mean people maybe knew who Jose Aldo and Miguel Torres were or on Strikeforce Nick Diaz and Fedor.  I love the fact that Mayhem Miller was virtually unknown by the average MMA fan.  He’s going to be doing the Ultimate Fighter now.   I think he’s a fucking badass guy.  People don’t know, they think he’s just a goof on the outside of MMA.  He goes to Japan with Dream and beats the fuck out of people.  He’s a character too, so he knows how to play the game with sponsorships and to be on a TV but he also knows how to be entertaining at the same time.  Most of these guys don’t know how to play the game.  They fuck up and do weird shit or they’re just boring.  The new guys that are coming up like John Jones and Mayhem know how to play it.
Me: I love the fact that these guys are starting to show some personality now!
Bobby: Yea, because that’s going to help the sport become more mainstream.  You got John Jones doing a Bud Light commercial…that’s crazy!  That was always delegated to the major four sports normally…even though Dana White can’t act for shit!
Me: Let’s switch to food.  What’s going on with you and food right now?
Bobby: Well I have my eye on a mutton chop.  It’s at Keene’s Steakhouse in New York City.  It’s been there for over a hundred years.  It used to just be men…just men would go there.  Millionaires, congressmen and presidents would go there and eat meat and smoke these long white pipes.  All white men, which is a little racist but whatever.  They actually have all of the pipes on the ceiling too.  So I hear there’s a mutton chop, which I’ve never had, that they have that I’m dying to get my fangs into.  I’ll eat anything though really.  Last night, I’m at the front desk, going over all these menus from the area (suburban Atlanta) from barbecue places to steak places.  I tell the lady, “Before we get into this; is there a Chick-fil-A nearby?” and she said “Yea, there is one right down the road!”  I tell her “Forget everything.”  I went to Chick-fil-A dude and bought three chicken sandwiches, a twelve piece chicken nugget, an Oreo shake and a large fry.  For me dude (see link below for video).  It looks like there was a kid’s party in my hotel room.
Me: Hilarious!  Are you at the Laughing Skull or the Funny Farm?
Bobby: I’m at the Funny Farm.  I did the Skullfest a few months back though.  It was definitely cool.  I don’t know much about this club though.  Have done this one?
Me: I only did the old Funny Farm, so I don’t know for sure.
Bobby: We’ll see.  I’ve done the best rooms and I’ve done the worst too.
Me: I’m pretty confident it’ll be better than the Punchline though.
Bobby: I’ve done that club before, that’s the one with the wood paneling and has the worst green room ever.  It’s tiny and right next to the stage.
Me: Yea, with everyone’s worst headshot on the walls.
Bobby: That’s always a tell tale sign, when all the headshots of people you don’t know.  Who’s Bucky Shiniz and Todd Macallacock (both fictional names obviously).
Me: So what are you doing in comedy right now?
Bobby: I’m doing some dates with Denis Leary’s big tour “Thinning the Heard”, which is going to be fun.  That’s with Denis and Lenny Clarke and a bunch of other guys.  That’s going to be fun being out of on tour.  I mean headlining is great, but you know, you’re stuck in a hotel most of the time.  I mean I go do the show and I don’t drink or do drugs and I’m married, so I’m not banging broads.  Basically I’m back in my room watching Nancy Grace talk about the Casey Anthony trial for like fucking three hours after the show.
Me: Eating Chick-fil-A!
Bobby: Exactly…trying not eat Chick-fil-A really!  I’ll give myself one bad night and then I’ll eat healthy the rest of the week.  Frank Shamrock told me it’s 90/10.  90% of the time you eat healthy and 10% you eat like crap and you’ll maintain your weight.  I’m sure he wasn’t talking about fucking three Chick-fil-A sandwiches too!
Me: Ha!  What else?
Bobby: Well I’ve got Montreal coming up, which is huge!  Me, Billy Burr and Joe DeRosa produced, wrote and directed a short film called “Cheat.”  It got into the Tribeca film festival and killed it.  Through that we got a book deal through Simon and Schuster.  We just handed in our first draft last month and it should be coming out soon.  It’s a “how to” book on how to cheat and get away with it.  Especially with everything going on right now, it’s fantastic.  The book covers all the bullshit…there is a whole chapter on how to use technology and not to get caught sending pictures of your dick.  You have to be a taker not a giver.  The film is going to premiere up in Montreal at the comedy festival.  We’re going to be doing a live show called “Cheat” with me, Bill and Joe, which is loosely based around the concept of the book.  In August, hopefully we’ll have some fucking bigger news, but I can’t really tell you about that now.
For more information on Bobby, visit him at:
http://www.whosay.com/robertkelly
www.robertkellylive.com
www.twitter.com/robertkelly
His podcast “You Know What Dude” can be found here:
http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robert-kelly-you-know-what/id371045355
To watch the trailer for “Cheat” go to:
http://www.cheatthemovie.com
If you don’t believe the Chick-fil-A story check this out: http://www.whosay.com/robertkelly/videos/40240
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